There are so many stories that fight for space inside my imagination. But whose story should I tell? The voices and the images are so loud, competing for a spot, looking for a voice that can find the words to make their stories come alive. I can try to tell their stories but the bigger question that haunts me is can I tell my own? Is that even a possibility? Or is my story so wrapped up in theirs that one cannot be told without the other. Does my story exist without theirs? And what if I try to tell these tales and fail? What happens to my story then? What happens to theirs? Is it still my story if I fail to capture the essence, the truth of my situation? Doesn't every story, in some way capture some kind of truth?

All of these questions and all of these voices paralyze me. The pressure I feel to capture these moments, to give life to these people, their lives, their emotions and ultimately their truth robs me of my ability to weave their tales together. Every attempt feels like a failure, every word choice inaccurate. Nothing feels like it reflects or even comes close to capturing the sadness and the triumph, the beauty and the pain of the stories, voices and images I can feel, hear and see them trying to give me. Instead of words all that comes are tears and I begin to weep for the voices lost to me. For the pain and the beauty that may never be shared.

Frustration. I can't get past a bit of writers block/frustration. I've got this image of a character of a figure that's screaming for me to write her story down and I can't get the words to flow the way I want them to. I'm going to let her roll around in my mind a little bit longer, maybe than I can start to hear her voice as well as see her. And boy can I see her; the sadness in her eyes, the longing in her soul, the pain of a past that was on track to create a breathtakingly beautiful future but ended in bitter heartbreak and crushing defeat, it’s all right there. Now, if only I could find her voice along with the images.

I know her story too. I wrote a whole poem a while back that’s more than a part of it. It sets the foundation. I'm sure that eventually her story will works its way out of me it's just taking it's sweet time and frustrating me like crazy as I try.

Anyway, I needed to get that out. Might try writing some more of the story later.

Cheers!

 25 Random Things 

1. Soap Operas are my television guilty pleasure. The writing is predictable, the plots are overblown and contrived and the acting is suspect but I love ‘em anyway, especially, General Hospital, Days of Our Lives and As the World Turns.

2.  I used to despise all things Sci-Fi but now it dominates my television/movie landscape.

3. There is a show I used to watch with my family called “Spellbinder” that I really want to find again.

4.  If I had to pick my favorite music type I’d choose country. Though, I tend to like at least something (a song, an artist, whatever) from most genres.

5. I’m a sucker for Romantic Comedies. Even if they’re not well written/acted/directed I’ll probably watch it (and laugh, cry and just generally have a great time while doing it).

6. I’m addicted to TV on DVD. It’s just such a brilliant concept.

7. My favorite movies include The Illusionist, Stranger Than Fiction, X-Men, Underworld and P.S. I Love You

8. It’s not a hard and fast thing but I tend to pick my favorite characters from the supporting cast rather than the main.

9. I’m a true believer in the old adage that “the book is always better than the movie.” Take Twilight, Harry Potter, Watchmen, A Walk to Remember and The Notebook for example.Though mostly good movies the books were all superior.

10. I’ve been in love with Hanson since the first time I heard “MMMBop” and it’s a love affair that I’m sure will never end.

11. I absolutely love Diana Gabaldon’s series of “Outlander” books and wish they’d make them into a movie or tv series.

12.  The first movie I remember seeing in theatres was “Jetsons: the Movie”

13.  I’m a ‘shipper through and through. Doesn’t matter the show, the context or what is or isn’t cannon, I tend to see ship in everything.

14. My favorite “Law & Order” is Special Victims Unit.

15. Though I’ve just recently discovered it my favorite Sitcom is “The Big Bang Theory”

16. I really enjoy a good period/historical movie. I just love getting caught up in the dress, the language and just the general air of the times when they’re caught on film.  

17. The first music video I ever saw was Weird Al’s “Like a Surgeon.”   My aunt had taped it and I used to make her play it over and over again for me.

18.  I can count on my fingers the number of my favorite shows that I’ve watched from the date they premiered. These include “The Mentalist,” “Private Practice,” “Castle” "Fringe" "Dollhouse" and “Scrubs.” The rest, not-so-much.  I tend to get into shows mid-season, mid-series and/or after the show has ended and have to backtrack to catch up.    

19.  If I’m feeling really upset or unmotivated I’ll stick on “Dare You To Move” by Switchfoot for a quick pick me up.

20. Even though I know it isn’t the case, I’d swear that there’s a conspiracy to kill off all of my favorite characters from any show I watch.

21. “Guitar Hero,” “Little Big Planet” and “Mario Kart” rank top among my favorite video games.

22. The first Sci-Fi show that I really got into was “Star Trek: Voyager”

23. My favorite “Reality Shows” are “The Amazing Race” and “Big Brother”

24. I really want to start watching “Monk” and “Bones” but haven’t found the time.

25. Although I’ve seen them all, I would love to take a day and watch “The Lord of the Rings” movies from start to finish. 

And that's all she wrote ... 

Cheers!

 Grey's and Private Practice tonight!! Woo hoo. 

That's all I really had. It's been such a long time since they were airing new episodes so I'm really excited that the shows are back. The stories left off in a pretty good place so hopefully the episodes will pick up on that. Actually, I think the fangirl in me is just really excited to have a new helping of Kevin McKidd again. Gotta get my fix!

Shows have been really good lately, especially "Castle" (I'm totally in love with NF). Though, I haven't been overly inspired to write much about them. The watching is more fun anyway, isn't it? 

Oh, speaking of shows does anyone (if there is anyone) who happens to be reading this watch the "Legend of the Seeker" or read the books it's based on? I started watching the show one Sunday when there was nothing else on tv and have since picked up the books. I'm completely hooked! Check it out if you're looking for something new. 

On one more quick note, I'm working on some Big Bang Theory icons. They're coming along but I only have a couple and I'd rather post a bigger number when I do post. Plus I need to build up my userpics again and I think I'm going to do that with a couple of BBT icons. 

So, yeah, that's all. 

Cheers!

Dollhouse. One word: Strange. I'm not really sure what happened in that episode. I liked the way it was edited together, but it was just strange. Though, such is the nature of this particular show. On another note, I've been reading about the so-called 13th episode. It's definitely an odd situation. Though, I've read that it doesn't mean the show will be canned. We shall see, I guess.

Numb3rs: Yay it's back! To be honest I was just happy to finally get a new episode. I've been completely missing this show. I wasn't disappointed in the episode either. I thought it was well done. I love the way Numb3rs focuses on their characters. Sure, the cases are interesting and well thought out but the thing I really enjoy is that it always comes back to the characters. In that regard, this episode was stellar. I loved seeing the girls together at the end. I missed Colby in this episode, but I enjoyed seeing the evolution of Nikki's character here. I also love anytime that Larry gets into the mix and definitely wasn't disappointed here. All-in-all a classic episode of Numb3rs!

House ... Loved it! Wilson messing with House? What could be better? Classic House.  Also loved the Cameron/Chase storyline and it's conclusion.  Again, a show that focuses on it's characters instead of the cases/situations it puts them in. Great stuff. 

I've never really had much to say about 24. It's definitely a good show, but I don't typically have much of a reaction either way. I think it's because I'm not as invested in the characters as I am with other shows. Last night's episode was good. Though, I was a little annoyed with the Almeida story, good, bad, good, bad ... make a choice!! With this show I'm just looking forward to Paul McGillion's apperance. 

and finally ... 

THE BIG BANG THEORY! I ablsolutely love this show. It never fails to make me laugh. Last night I wasn't having such a great night, but watching Big Bang actually made me feel a little better. I'm so in love with Sheldon. Actually, I think I'm even starting to ship Sheldon/Penny. I definitely need to start making some Big Bang icons. Last night was classic, I loved "Anything Can Happen Thursday," Penny in the comic book store and Shealdon's line "Look at that, that's a dent. Thank you Howard "ham-fisted" Wolowitz.." LOL, love it!

Tonight should also be a good night for television:  American Idol, Fringe, and Law and Order: SVU. We've also got Southland, Heroes and Castle on our DVR.  Actually, I've also got the first two episodes of Robin Hood and the last few of The L Word. So much tv, so little time.

Cheers!